Planning the Wedding Before Finding the Groom


How early would you plan the details of your wedding? Perhaps after you have set the date or after you get engaged? Recent research suggests that actually many women plan their wedding before they have even find someone to marry! In fact the average age that girls in Britain start planning is 13. Such is the allure of the big day with all the trimmings that women are obsessing about it before they have even grown up.


The research has revealed that more than half of all women in the UK have thought seriously about their wedding before meeting their future spouse with almost half having chosen the sort of dress they want to wear and the people they would have as their bridesmaids. A quarter have decided upon the flowers they want and many have chosen the cars, venue and vows. Some have even decided the exact date and who they want to marry!

The Groom

Unsurprisingly most of those surveyed said they would not confess to their partner, when they finally meet them, that they have already made plans. I wonder what happens when the grooms choose menswear which conflicts with the dream? They say that all a groom has to do at a wedding is turn up and if brides are planning everything before they have even met their man then that could well be true.


Apparently many women go so far as to buy wedding magazines and to search online for the things they want. I am now beginning to understand why so many brides come into my shop clutching scrapbooks and mood boards an amazing amount of detail about exactly what they are looking for.

The Finances

I don’t think that these early dreams often have a great deal of influence over the choices that are finally made. Fashions and tastes change and the plethora of television programmes devoted to weddings throw up all sorts of new ideas which could change people’s plans. The financial realities probably put a dent in many women’s dreams too. The survey suggests that some start saving for their wedding when they are still kids but the average sum accumulated is under £1000 which wouldn’t stretch very far these days.

The Dress

In my experience most brides end up choosing a very different dress to the style they thought they would wear. Looking at pictures only tells you what the models look like in a dress not how it is going to suit you and so most people have to modify their plans when they realise that their chosen style simply doesn’t suit them.


I think women need to get a bit of perspective when it comes to their wedding. It is only one day. It should be a great day but the important thing is who you marry not what chair covers you have or the colour of the bridesmaids’ dresses. Perhaps more of us should spend our younger years deciding what sort of person we want to marry and finding the right man rather than obsessing over the finer points of our wedding. That way less brides would be inclined to rush up the aisle because they want the wedding and the divorce rate would improve no end.


Article by Sally Stacey